📚 The Midnight Library: A Book That Feels Like Therapy

What if there was a place where you could try on all the lives you could have lived?

This is the question at the heart of The Midnight Library by Matt Haig – a novel that has quietly become a favourite in therapy spaces, book clubs, and among anyone who has ever found themselves wondering: “Did I make the wrong choice?”

While it reads like a work of fiction, many of its themes mirror the very work I do in therapy.

The Core Idea: Regret, Possibility, and Perspective

The story follows Nora, who finds herself in a mysterious library between life and death. Each book represents a different version of her life – paths she didn’t take, choices she didn’t make, identities she didn’t become.

Sound familiar?

In therapy, many people come in carrying:

• Regret over past decisions
• “What if” thinking
• A sense that life could have – or should have – looked different

This book gently challenges the belief that there is one “right” life.

It invites a shift from:

“What if I…?”
to
“Every life comes with its own set of struggles and meaning.”

Why It Resonates in Therapy

1. It Normalizes Regret (Without Letting It Take Over)

Regret is a common emotional theme people bring into therapy, but also one of the least talked about openly.

The Midnight Library helps us see that:

• Every life includes loss, limitation, and trade-offs
• Even the “perfect” path carries unexpected challenges

In therapy, this can support clients in loosening the grip of perfectionism and self-blame.

2. It Mirrors Cognitive Patterns We Work With

Many of Nora’s struggles reflect common thinking patterns:

• Black-and-white thinking (“My life is a failure”)
• Catastrophizing (“Nothing will ever get better”)
• Idealizing alternate realities (“That other version of me would be happy”)

These are patterns I gently work with in approaches like CBT and ACT – helping clients notice thoughts without automatically believing them or getting tangled up in them.

3. It Highlights the Importance of Meaning Over “Perfect Outcomes”

One of the most powerful takeaways is this:

A meaningful life isn’t built from perfect choices – it’s built from presence, values, and connection.

In therapy, we often shift focus from:

• “How do I fix everything?”
  to
• “How do I live in alignment with what matters, even when things are imperfect?”

4. It Gently Explores Mental Health

Without being heavy-handed, the book touches on:

• Depression
• Hopelessness
• Feeling stuck or disconnected
• The quiet ways people struggle internally

For many readers, this feels validating:

“I’m not the only one who has felt this way.”

How This Shows Up in Therapy Conversations

Clients often resonate with themes like:

• “I feel behind in life”
• “I should have chosen differently”
• “Everyone else seems happier”

Using stories like The Midnight Library in therapy can:

• Create emotional distance (making hard topics easier to explore)
• Open conversations about regret, identity, and values
• Help clients reconnect with possibility – not by changing the past, but by engaging with the present

Thinking About Therapy?

If you’ve found yourself stuck in “what ifs,” feeling disconnected, or questioning your path, therapy can offer a space to explore those thoughts with curiosity rather than judgment.

You don’t need to have it all figured out to begin.

Sometimes, the work isn’t about finding a different life, it’s about learning how to be more fully present in the one you’re already living.