Why I Use So Many Analogies in Therapy

If you’ve ever been to a session with me, you may have noticed that I use a lot of analogies.

Like… a lot. 😂

Sometimes I’ll explain something using a beach ball, a radio, a tug-of-war, a bullseye, a choice point, or something completely random that popped into my head in the moment.

And there’s actually a reason for that.

Therapy can involve some pretty complicated concepts – nervous system responses, brain activity, thought patterns, avoidance, attachment, values, emotional regulation, parts of ourselves, and the ways we respond when life feels overwhelming.

I don’t want those concepts to only make sense while you’re sitting in my office.

I want you to be able to remember them on a Tuesday afternoon when you’re overwhelmed, your toddler is melting down, your partner is annoying you, or you’re lying awake at 2 a.m. wondering if you handled something the “right” way.

That’s where metaphors and acronyms can be really helpful.

One of my favourite analogies in therapy: the beach ball in the pool

Imagine you’re in a swimming pool with a beach ball.

You push the ball underwater.

You can do it.

You might even be able to hold it down for a little while.

But eventually, you’re going to get tired.

And the harder you work to keep that ball underwater, the more energy it takes.

Eventually…

BOING.

It shoots back up.

This is a lot like what can happen when we try really hard to push away anxiety, sadness, anger, intrusive thoughts, grief, or other uncomfortable experiences.

We might distract ourselves.

Avoid certain situations.

Try not to think about it.

Tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel this way.

Reassure ourselves.

Analyze it.

Try to find the perfect answer.

And sometimes those things work temporarily.

But the uncomfortable feeling tends to come back.

And now we’re tired from trying to hold it down.

This is one of the ideas behind Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

ACT isn’t about liking difficult feelings or giving up.

It’s about learning that we don’t necessarily have to spend all of our energy fighting with our internal experiences.

Instead of:

“How do I make this feeling go away?”

we can start asking:

“Can I make room for this feeling while still choosing what matters to me?”

That doesn’t mean we stop doing things that help us feel better.

It means we stop making feeling better the requirement for moving forward.

And this is where ACT gets really practical

A lot of ACT comes down to a few simple ideas:

Acceptance – making room for thoughts and feelings rather than spending all of our energy trying to get rid of them.

Defusion – learning that a thought is a thought, not necessarily a fact, instruction, prediction, or something we have to act on.

Present moment awareness – noticing what is actually happening right now instead of getting pulled completely into the past or future.

Values – getting clear on what matters to us and the kind of person we want to be.

Committed action – taking steps in the direction of those values, even when uncomfortable thoughts or feelings come along for the ride.

Why metaphors?

Because sometimes “your nervous system is responding to a perceived threat” is technically accurate…

…but “your brain thinks you’re being chased by a tiger” is a lot easier to remember when you’re standing in the kitchen having a completely disproportionate reaction to an email, or a toddler melting down. 😂

Therapy isn’t just about understanding something intellectually.

It’s about being able to recognize it while it’s happening.

So if you’ve ever left one of our sessions thinking:

“Okay, I’m pretty sure Steph just compared my anxiety to a beach ball…”

You probably weren’t imagining it.

I’m hoping that six weeks from now, when you’re having a hard day, that little beach ball pops into your head.

And maybe instead of thinking:

“I need to get rid of this feeling.”

you remember:

“Oh. I’m trying really hard to hold the ball underwater.”

And from there, you might be able to pause, take a breath, make a little room for what’s showing up, and ask:

“What do I want to do next?”

Sometimes a simple analogy can give us just enough space between what we’re feeling and what we do about it.

That’s where the good stuff starts.